How to Feel Fantastic About Your Next Negative Comment

Rachel Wilkerson writes her own blog and is editor of the bloggers' blog Hollaback Health. This post is the third in a series by Rachel on how to deal with negative comments.

Now that we've discussed how to avoid negative comments and how to respond when you get them, I want to talk about one big aspect of dealing with comments: not letting them get to you.

Because even if you know you shouldn't, sometimes they do get to you. But the more time you spend nursing your ego, the less time you spend writing great posts! Here are some tips for developing a thick skin so you can bounce back quickly.

13 Ways to Relish Negative Comments

Know that no success is achieved without some negative feedback. Plain and simple. No one is loved by everyone. Not even Oprah. Let go of the feeling that everyone has to love you. It's never going to happen and it's useless to strive for it. Actually, the more you strive for it, the less good work you'll probably do.

Feel the love. Try to take the POV that if people care enough to comment it's because they care enough to read your blog and care enough to help you improve. Not all comments are constructive, but when it is constructive criticism, try to think of it as tough love.

Be proud of yourself for starting a discussion. It's not a discussion if everyone agrees with your every word. It's not exciting either!

Think of a time you've left a negative comment (or at least considered it). Did you hate the blogger? Think she was stupid? Want him to stop writing? Probably not. You probably just felt compelled to voice your opinion.

Know thyself. Take pride in your strengths. Be confident in your good qualities, even ones that you don't blog about. Know who you are…and who you are not. If you know you aren't a stupid person, then it's hard to get worked up about a comment that calls you stupid.

Remember that people don't know you; they know what you write. So when a comment goes after YOU, remember that people don't see the big picture.

Say thank you. Seriously. As you're re-reading your negative comment say thank you (to yourself, you don't have to e-mail the commenter). And say, "Thank you for _____" and then fill in the blank. "Thank you for making me even more passionate about my cause." "Thank you for reminding me that I still have work to do." "Thank you for being so ridiculous that you got me 200 more hits today."

Consider that you might actually be a public figure. We can all agree that tabloids are ridiculously invasive but we can only listen to celebs complain so much before we want them to go into their million dollar mansions and get over it. They put themselves in the public eye, after all. I know it doesn't seem like you're a celeb. I know you just think you're a nice kid who wanted a place to write…but if you have a book deal, a business, or even are just getting a lot of great swag…well, you may not be Kim Kardashian, but you are using your blog and readers to gain something. In that sense, you are putting yourself in the public eye.

Start practicing for your celeb status. Even if you have a teeny-tiny blog that no one reads, you have no idea where it might take you. The more you get used to dissenting opinions, the better prepared you'll be for the day your reality TV show debuts or your book comes out.

Remember that even if you don't leave negative comments, you still might get them. Fair? Probably not. But don't think of yourself as a victim. You're putting yourself out there.

Laugh at the ridiculous ones. Seriously. E-mail them to your friends and family. Print them and put them on your bulletin board. Highlight the typos and grammatical errors.

Laugh all the way to the bank. Own what it is that makes you you, even if it's the thing people trash. Perfect celeb example? Jessica Simpson. That woman is dumb like a fox. Don't be offensive or stir up controversy for the sake of getting attention and readers, but recognize that sometimes a little controversy gets you more readers. When my book comes out, maybe I'll sign it "the oft-mentioned ho bag" and send it to everyone who worked at the State News when I was in college.

Let it go. Don't pretend to let it go. Don't say "I'm not going to think about it." It's OK to think about it! Think about it long enough to own it and how it makes you feel. Thank the commenter, learn the lesson, and then…let it go.