How Do You Respond to Negative Blog Comments?

Rachel Wilkerson writes her own blog and is editor of the bloggers' blog Hollaback Health. This post is the second in a series by Rachel on negative comments.

We've talked about how to avoid negative comments, but sometimes, it doesn't always work. We get them anyway. So…let's talk about how to respond!

The moment we see a negative comment, the first instinct usually is to pounce. We get defensive and want to attack. "Why does this person read my blog if they don't like it?!" we think, as we begin typing a nasty/sarcastic response back.

Hold on. Step away from the computer. Let's look at the comment.

First, you have to look at the nature of the comment. Is it constructive criticism? A questioning of your facts? Or is it snarky, mean, or maybe just kind of laughable?

We'll take the snarky, mean, and straight-up ridiculous first. This might be a sarcastic comment about your regular content. ("Oh, wow, your life is just perfect, isn't it?") It might be a judgment of your lifestyle. I'll use an example of a comment one of my blog friends has received on a few occasions: "You really shouldn't drink so much; here's a link to AA." Now, this is a girl who drinks at most three drinks at a time — and not every day. Usually it's in the context of dinner out with friends and most of her readers are young women who are social. So whatever you think about drinking, for the sake of this post, let's just agree that this comment a little ridiculous.

If a comment is ridiculous, don't respond. File it under "C" for "Crazy." Your regular readers will likely realize it's ridiculous and just dismiss the comment. It really doesn't make you look bad. But arguing with people who are ignorant to what your blog is all about is a waste of time and you'll just fan the flames and show other readers that they can get a rise out of you. The other reason that there's often no need is because your readers will often respond on your behalf, which is a good feeling.

Now let's look at constructive criticism or questioning of facts. These comments usually begin with something like, "I love your blog but I have to disagree with you here…" They might question a source you used or call you out for being insensitive to a certain topic. This is hard, because once you get over initially being annoyed, then you realize, "Uh-oh…what if I was wrong?"

But there's nothing wrong with that! It's all about how you respond to it. This happened to me a few weeks ago. The commenter had a really good point and I felt like I had learned an important lesson from her. I responded to the comment in the comment form with a short note and an apology and then I e-mailed the reader personally and apologized again and expanded on it. She wrote back and apologized for being harsh (which I don't think she was) and she also wrote, "I think it's cool that you give your readers personal attention like this." Well, yeah. My readers mean a lot to me and it's important not to be so arrogant that you think you're above making mistakes in your posts.

And e-mailing the commenter directly also encourages them to respond in an e-mail; then you don't turn the comment field into an open battle field.

If you look at the comment from a truly objective point of view and truly don't believe you are wrong or you have more thoughts, ideas, or sources to share that back up your point, then you should respond. But first, calm down. (Seriously.) When you're ready, respond with a comment and argue your point. But say everything you need to say in that response comment; I make it a goal to respond once in a situation like this and then not again. (This once led to me posting a 1,200 word comment on why I had written about STDs the way I did. I don't do that very often, but in that case, I wanted to tell this reader and any others who were paying attention that I put thought into my blog and don't just type whatever is on my mind without thinking.)

And only respond in the comments and not in a post. By writing a whole post, you are basically giving a commenter attention and, unless you were really wrong and you really need to make it right, responding with a comment is sufficient. It's also important to move on. Don't start your next post by saying, "Well, some people didn't like my post this morning on…" Nope. You addressed it there. Move on. Spending too much time defending yourself is just distracting. And the people who read through a Reader will not have known about the comments; when you post a response, you're inviting them to go look at the debate.

When you get defensive over negative comments, the phrase, "If you don't like it, don't read it" usually will escape your lips. This is a pretty standard defense and it has its place. I think it's really important to make the distinction that "If you don't like it, don't read it," can and should apply to subject matter. For example, I don't read a lot of vegetarian blogs because I'm not a vegetarian. But I do read some vegetarian blogs because I like their style that much. I like how they say things even if I don't agree with what they are saying. So isn't it kind of great to strive to make your blog one that is respected, even by people who don't necessarily want to live your lifestyle?

But do not just toss that defense around lightly. Saying, "If you don't like it, you can leave," is another way of saying, "I don't need you!" But…you do kind of need readers, right? I don't know about you but I do want people to read my blog. I don't want to get so arrogant that I start telling my readers to shove off if they call me out.

And really, this goes back to looking at the nature of the comment. I don't mind losing the crazies. I'll accept having less readers because I write in a particular style. But I am not OK with having less readers because of how I respond to them when they don't worship every last word I write.